laura2864.jpgOn dressing for extreme weather: they tell you is coming on tv, with maps that have icecycles hanging off all the major cities and flurry warnings swooping through vast parts of the American landscape. You look outside and it looks frosty, but for some reason you think its pretty… “Oh, look how beautiful and crisp the air looks! Like the frozen trees glow in the winter sunshine. Awww, so pretty.” And then you toss off the covers, ready to skip out into the winter sunshine…and then you realize how %$#%** cold it is and decide there is no possible way that you can survive “out there”, meaning out of bed. So you run into the bathroom like its any warmer there, touching the ground with as little foot surface area as possible. When you look in the mirror, you are horrrified at your red nose, your dry skin, the hair that stands up with all the static electricity that is possible without sticking your finger into an electrical outlet. Normally, a good girl wants to remedy all these beauty problems, emerging from the bathroom like its 70 degrees and slightly breezy. Then you realize all you can possibly do is find the maximum number of garments you can in the the shortest amount of time, put them all on no matter what order, and screw anyone who thinks you look ridiculous. Whatever color is fine, so what. Suddenly, a sweatshirt, two sweaters, long underwear, and a huge scarf fits under your taylored coat even when it takes 7 minutes to stuff yourself into it. You suddenly have one pair of shoes…the warmest ones. You put on your biggest hat because you can’t brush your already electrified hair for fear of starting a fire. Finally, it is time to leave the house. You go out into the world and realize your friends are not walking with you, but behind you as if they don’t know you…So what! Cold really isn’t for me!

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